Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I just need to get it out of my head!

So I'm pretty pissed of nowaday, and it is actually because of Lolita!

So okay.... It actually started with my insecurity of my style the latest months. I have been really inspired by fairy-kei and even hipster styles like nu-goth and pastel-goth, so special styles which is easy to find in normal stores. This has made me pretty terrified of me loosing my interest in Lolita! But it doesn't stop there...

You Tumblr, Lolita and Japanese fashion fans have maybe already seen this clip of Venus Palermo on Daybreak on British TV. I personally do not like her that much but when she's on television and the host tells her that she would be terrified if her kids dressed like this I just lost my mind!

First of all this girl looks like a doll naturally and her make-up doesn't make a extreme doll makeover in my eyes. Second, should teenagers be dressing up like adults or like whores? Cu'z I feel like that is what's acceptable.

Some weeks went and I had forgotten this video, then suddenly a Norwegian reader of mine asked me about this "look like a doll" -phenomenon had a connection with Lolita. I don't blame her at all since she (like many others here in Norway) have no Idea what Lolita and other Asian fashion contains, so I searched for the Norwegian article she red, and I found this:
(unfortunately in Norwegian)

This made me rally loose my head! I was unable to think about anything else and it was the only thing I talked about that day at school. I had become accustomed with English or american media talking shit about Lolita and other "doll-like" styles, but when my own little home country starts this bullshit I'm going mad!

It was the same talking. Venus which is only 15, teaches millions of people to look like a doll and this style and this mask of make-up sends a lot of sexual signals and is pretty damaging among kids. They don't even know that there is Norwegian people that actually have this style and will get pretty upset and provoked by reading it. I can understand the fetishes with ero-lolita, anime characters dressed in Lolita and other fetishes that for some seem odd. I have no problem with that. I have a problem that they are stereotyping people interested in asian fashion and "doll like" styles! I can of course feel sexy while I'm dressed in Gothic Lolita or fashion inspired by other more sexy styles, but I NEVER dress in lolita to be sexy! if I want to dress sexy I choose clothing which send those signals.

Another thing, we have the right to be who we want, to say what we want only it doesn't hurt anyone else, and Norway is one of those countries that this is pretty open and important. Therefor I'm getting pretty sad that I can't  even be myself in my own country without media talking bullshit about it.

At last I came across this livejournal.
This blog/forum really made me ashamed by being a Lolita. How can people talk so much shit about people, famous Lolitas, beginners, fat, skinny, boys or girls. The only thing I see of these people are that they are sad small people who can't even be themselves. I actually know and admires some of these Lolitas which is getting talked bad of, and the saddest thing of all is that they haven't done anything wrong!


I know this last paragraph was a little out of sense, but I just don't know what to do. I'm so disappointed of my self and Lolitas. I know SO many nice Lolitas but the bitches just acquires the hole thing (if you know what I mean). I also am pretty tired of having a style which is so time consuming, so considered by the weather or activity, and by being judged for all the wrong things I stands for.

I just hope this will be better now, when the summer comes, and the weather don't stop me for dressing how I want, and I also really hope I can experiment a lot more.
I sorry if this post was boring, out of context or VERY bad English, but I just needed to tell you guys and I really want to talk to you about how I feel of this.

NB. Some photos are lost due to trouble with google drive.


  1. Skjønner godt at du reagerer! Jeg har rage attacked på alle som bare: "omg, er det deg jeg så på nettet? Hvorfor prøver du å være som hun der, eww"

    Men om vi bare glemmer hun jenta, så slutter folk å bry seg ;)

    Lolita er noe du burde være stolt av, det er veldig få av oss i Norge, så keep going.
    Du kan jo seff ha andre stiler utenom, om du vil prøve noe nytt da :P
    Jeg kjører mori og gyaru makeup på samme tid jeg, hehe

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Paige <3
      I understand exactly how you feel sweetie.. ; ~ ;
      I get many people claiming that looking young and like a doll is bad & sexual perversion to attract paedophiles - how ignorant! Lolita is NOTHING like that at all! Dressing overly sexy and skimpy would attract those characters NOT lolita! ; A ;
      I have been irritated by this lately too, all the lolitas in my area are extremely mean, I wish that I could meet some nice lolitas in my area.. but sweet girls like you give me hope that the lolita community is still kind! ; ^ ;

  3. I understand how you feel. I feel the same lots of times, and I'm actually glad I left lolita. I have even come to the point where I ask myself how could I ever be a lolita in the first place? Sometimes the circle can be very cruel and it really takes the fun out of the fashion... It's so hard to be judged all the time, by strangers, by media and even by your own kind, who you'd thought would support you no matter what..

  4. I'm very dissapointed in these 'experts' who act like it's all a huge phenomenon that no-one has seens the likes of. They go talking about how this doll-like look is all about sexualization of young girls, but what about the girls in miniskirts and showing gigantic cleavage that wander drunk around in the streets nowaday? They're not sexual in any way? Ugh. It's very, very frustrating just how... ignorant these experts seem.

  5. It is in every community! It is just people ... with drama! haha!
    My mom was upset with the comments made to Venus. My mom is just happy I am not a whore. :)

    Also, Daybreak is a British Channel.


  6. Just ignore that other people say, though I can understand it's hard. But it's about you want when you dress in lolita. Let other people say and think all they want at least you have the guts to be yourself which they're obviously never gonna be.

  7. What is their problem anyway? Lolita is just a style, a way some people like to dress. What they said in the video and the article is very much wrong and it is quite annoying that people would think this. I remember a few years back when people started dressing in black, and being "emo" was "unhealthy" too, but it went away :) And seriously, I don't even see what's wrong with dressing like that, it is cute and sophisticated, and it doesn't actually bother anyone. I can't even believe people would think lolita is sexual, especially when young girls wear mini skirts and shorts and tanktops out on the street. While I have no problem with this, I think people should get to wear whatever they like.
    I think people are bored and therefore they decide to take it out on whoever stands out of the crowd, the ones who are a little different, simply because they don't know much about the asian fashion and their communities.

  8. huff fikk nesten litt dårlig samvittighet når jeg leste her nå, ødela hele dagen din:(
    MEN uansett syns jeg ikke du skal bry deg om hva alle, tenker og tror for om du er deg selv fullt ut, vil jo også se at det ikke er noe galt i å være lolita:)
    Ang My litle pony: foreldrene mine driver å flytter og jeg har derfor gått gjennom alt fra jeg var liten, 90 % ga jeg klar beskjed om at skulle kastes, men når jeg så my litle ponyene ble jeg så glad at jeg sto og hoppet! Så jeng syns din reaksjon er helt naturlig haha:)
    Ha en herlig fredagskveld
    klem Cathrine

    1. nei det må du ikke tenke på... dette har plaget meg en stund nå, så jeg er bare gald du delte det med meg, takk :D

  9. I feel so bad for her - she obviously (as well as her mother) feels very uncomfortable. Not everything is about sex. It's not a Loli's fault that there was a book about a man infatuated with a 12 year old girl. That's not what the Lolita fashion is about. I hate when people look down on it because either they think it's about sexual fantasies or because the girl is not "dressing for their age" and they think something is wrong with the girl. Just because most of the fashion industry considers who wears the least amount of fabric to be the "best dressed", that's not what a Lolita is.

    Also, this whole thing with some girls thinking they are a master at the fashion really annoys me. No one is a master unless they're owners of well-known brands with stores and making thousands of dollars. No one has a right to talk about other girls that are trying their best. A fashion is a fashion. Even if they are "doing it wrong", who is to say that won't lead to something awesome? Anyone ever hear of experimenting?

    Sorry for ranting - stuff like this just makes me so mad. Thank you for posting this and making people aware of what's going on. Very good post ♥

    I say everyone do what they like. There is no wrong or right way of doing things. That is how new styles are born. Love yourself for who you are and have fun with what you love.

    ~ Kieli ~

    1. Thanks for a lovely comment, as I said comment your thoughts, and I love long comments like this :D

  10. loli-secrets makes me sick. We should all stick together to battle public opinion rather than put each other down.


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